Somebody That I Used To Know
by Little Cute Girl
Summary: We meet people we think we'll love forever but then comes the time when you have to realize that you have to let them go. Maybe for the best or worst, but it's important that you do it. And in the end everything you have are their left footprints in your heart.


**A/N – **I'm proud to say that this is one of my favorite one-shots I have ever written.

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**Somebody That I Used To Know**

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The moment I laid my eyes on Natsume Hyuuga, I got hit by the arrow of the Amor. I fell for him, very fast and heavily. It didn't take me long to realize that he was the real one for me.

I had been searching him for more than seventeen years. And then, I found him, in the park besides my high school's building. He was sitting lazy on the wooden bench and he was reading a book.

It was spring, everything was blooming. Everything around him was green and glittering from the sunlight.

I sat beside him and asked what he was reading. He looked up from the book to look at me. When our eyes met, the Greek gods fainted and I was close to let out a whimper, because his eyes – _oh, his eyes_ – were in the colour of red. His eyes were the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

He spoke and I was amazed by his voice. It was deep and rough. It made me want to listen to it all day.

I know that I was exaggerating at the moment but that was how I felt when I met Natsume Hyuuga, the most beautiful person I have ever seen. No one could overcome his beauty, not even those beautiful actors from Hollywood. He was the reincarnation of Adonis. He _still_ is.

He liked reading. His secret hobby was to read books. He loved the ancient literature. He revealed it to me on our first date.

He didn't want to tell me his name when I first met him at the park. I didn't know why. I persuaded him and tried to buy him with a cup of coffee but he just smirked and went back to reading the book he was holding.

In my mind, I told myself that I couldn't let him go without knowing his name and phone number. Perhaps the park was the last place I would ever see him. And that thought scared me.

In the end, I found a way to get to know his name. It was written in the book's prologue's page. Above the title _Prologue_ was a message.

_To Natsume Hyuuga, the most charming grandson. _

It was his mistake to give me the book to look into it and read the prologue. I told him my name and gave him my mobile phone's number.

"And what are you going to do if I don't call?" He asked, raising his eyebrow. He leaned against the bench and stretched like a cat.

"I will be sitting in my room's corner for one day, crying, watching soap operas and eating tons of chocolate. The next day I would join a feminist club and hate men my whole life, all thanks to one negative nancy."

I guess my answer back then amused him because he laughed. His laughs had some magic in them. They made you want to hear them more.

Before I left for good, he told me that he will call me, someday. I giggled and left. That was how I met Natsume Hyuuga, my first true love.

It's funny that now, when I look back at the first time when we met, I realize how much power he had over me just from the few exchanged words.

After few weeks he called me to ask me on a date. It was the most romantic first date I have ever had. We were dancing under the moonlight near our city's main lake.

He had taken his iPod with himself. When he pulled it out from his black sport bag, I raised my eyebrow while he just laughed it off. I took one of his earphones while he took the other one. He told me to close my eyes and wrap my hands around his neck. Then he played _All You Need Is Love _on his iPod while we slowly danced to the music rhythm.

After the dance, we kissed for few minutes that felt like an eternity for me. He got me under his spell. It was beautiful and tragic in the same time. To know that someone so beautiful could have some affection toward you made me feel scared.

I was scared of getting flaws. In Natsume's eyes, I wanted to stay as a goddess, just like he was in mine.

I started to jog in the mornings and avoided eating junk food. I looked after the carbohydrates, protein and fat I ate every day. I had to be perfect for Natsume Hyuuga just because he was perfect. There was nothing for him to change but I had so many flaws that didn't fit well with his perfection.

I was living a fairytale for five months. I felt perfect for four months. The fifth month was the worst because I found out that Natsume was cheating on me.

I didn't want to lose Natsume because I loved him, a lot. He made me feel complete and happy. My mother was happy that I had found such a good boyfriend. She even told me that Natsume was her favourite from all the boyfriends I have ever had.

That's why I tried to forget what Sumire Shoda, my best friend, told me and live happy together with Natsume. I made up a lie in my head that it was just a little slip. He was too drunk to remember that he had a loyal and loving girlfriend who was ready to do everything for him.

Inside my head, I was questioning my own sanity since I made up such a big lie just to tell myself that my boyfriend wasn't cheating on me.

Who was I kidding? He had cheated on me, still knowing that I was being honest with him.

It felt wrong to let it slip away like that. I couldn't be honest if he wasn't honest with me.

That was the reason why I went to the closest night club, got drunk until my vision went ape shit, stepped on the closest table and started to strip my clothes off.

A young gentleman stopped me, questioning me if I was okay. I didn't answer his question, just laughed in his face with my dazzled smile.

He was a nice guy and made sure that I got home safe. Before saying goodbye, I threw myself on him and we made out for five or more minutes. When he stepped away from me and stared in my eyes, I took a step back, said goodbye and ran into my house.

His name was Ruka Nogi. I haven't seen him since then. He didn't give me his number. I never told him mine. I could erase him from my memory, just like Natsume did with that girl he kissed. That's what I tried to do but I failed because every night, when I couldn't fall asleep, my mind brought up the fact that I cheated on Natsume just because I was greedy and stupid. I was stupid because I let myself fall so low just for a guy.

I started to live a lie with Natsume. Every time we were together, I reminded myself that soon it's going to end.

We were together for more than six months. According to Sumire, it was a pretty long time. She was a pro at the dates because she had a subscription for Cosmopolitan.

For me, we were together for four months. The other two were just a game to see who'll be the first to tell the truth.

It was Natsume. It was a week before Christmas when he came to the apartment I and Sumire shared. He hugged me and we stayed in silence for few moments. Then, he moved away and, while looking into my eyes, told me that everything was over between us.

It is sad that I didn't shed a single tear that night. I guess I had accepted the fact that once we'll break up, that's why I made myself be stronger and not afraid of the end of our relationships.

We stayed friends but it was obvious that there wouldn't be any good friendship between us. How could someone be friends with somebody they once loved?

I wasn't afraid to admit that Natsume made me fall for him. It only took him few months to make me trust him like I trusted my best friends.

At the day of our break up, I got to know the reason why Natsume cheated on me. He told me that his feelings for me were too strong and too large, he couldn't control himself anymore. He was obsessed with me, he wanted to be together with me for the rest of his life and that was what scared him the most.

Natsume Hyuuga wasn't that kind of person who liked to cuddle and be in serious relationships. He was that kind of guy, who was in short time relationships, changed his girlfriends often and always knew who he was.

With me, he lost himself. He got scared by the fact that I could control him so easy. He got scared because he didn't know himself anymore.

That was the reason he made out with a complete stranger and later got so pissed that he fell asleep on a bench in the park we first met.

Then, for two months he was punishing himself because he didn't want to break up with me. He was scared to lose me because we were really close but at the last month, I made sure that we slowly started to withdraw away from each other. That helped him to muster up his courage and make himself ready for the break up.

Of all the good things Natsume had, I can say that the one I most loved was his bravery.

The one, who is brave, is free.

In my eyes, Natsume was always somewhere above me. He found life easy and everything came so easy for him. I was envious of that.

I was always hard working and trying my best. I often had to push myself to the limit, just to step up in the same level with Natsume.

I wasn't that kind of girl who doesn't give a message to her parents every day, didn't tell them where she is, with whom she's spending the night with and why she's there.

Natsume made me turn into that kind of girl few times. He told me it was for the best because I had to have control over my life. Only I was allowed to choose what to do.

I listened to him and ignored my parents few times until they sent police after me. The police found me together with Natsume and brought me to the police station.

The police station was the first place I introduced Natsume to my parents. It's a bit hysterical, if you ask me.

It didn't affect the way my parents treated Natsume. Actually, they loved him. He was the first _real_ boyfriend I had who would come over at the weekends and spend his free time with me.

He made me happy and he made my parents trust him.

They were very devastated when I told them that we broke up. Mom kept asking me why we decided to end things in such a harsh way. I told her that Natsume lost his real self with me.

I often told myself that I was the reason why we couldn't work things out. I was too shy and calm for him. He told me that before me, he liked those kinds of girls who lived just for one day.

They were those kinds of girls who often went out to pubs, got drunk, danced until they fell to the ground and somebody had to drag them to their house while they laughed and told the dragger their life stories and how cold hearted their boyfriends were.

I was the exact opposite of those girls but there was something about me that made Natsume like me for who I really was. Maybe it was the one second bravery that made me walk up to him and start a chat. Maybe it was the way I lost myself when I read Natsume's favourite books. He never really told me the right answer.

Perhaps there was no answer at all since I still haven't got one.

Sumire once told me that she had seen Natsume at one night club with a girl by his side and they looked too pissed to understand where they were and what they were doing there. Sumire laughed at how pathetic Natsume had turned out to be.

It's been two years from the latest time I met Natsume.

We didn't kept contact with each other as we promised. I only had his small profile picture in my Facebook account.

All those long nights, beautiful moments and little talks were trapped in a little picture that was always there, in my friend list. It often popped up to tell me that he was online at the same time while I was wasting my free time on the Internet.

I didn't have the guts to write him. He never wrote me, so, why should I bother him? Everything was over between us. I was erased from Natsume's life. I belonged in his past and probably will always stay there.

I had to accept the fact but it was hard at first. Somehow, I grew a backbone and found other things to occupy my time. I had no time to worry about Natsume Hyuuga because he was the past.

And life didn't stop just because we weren't together anymore.

I met new friends, fell in love with a boy who's name was Kitsuneme, who loved to play his guitar at midnight and drink tea after every meal.

At my eighteenth birthday, he wrote me a song about my hazel brown eyes and kissable lips.

He knew I liked Ed Sheeran, so, he tried to copy him.

Of course, it didn't make me love him any less since he was perfect for me.

I didn't try to compare him to Natsume since it wouldn't be fair from me.

He didn't take me out for fancy dinners at high-class restaurants like Natsume used to do.

I went with Kitsuneme to McDonald's and cheap pizza restaurants. But, we also had home-made dinner every weekend when I went for a sleepover at his house since he lived alone without his parents.

My parents liked Kitsuneme, maybe a bit more than Natsume since Kitsuneme wasn't a trouble maker.

My friends were okay with him and Sumire was finally happy that I had found a good boyfriend.

"You're worth more than you imagine." She once whispered to me when I went to her house for a little tea party.

I only smiled and told her my favourite quote from The Perks of Being a Wallflower movie. "We accept the love we think we deserve."

Because, maybe I really wanted to be loved by a person who didn't really care about anything, who lived his life only for himself and never thought about the consequence of the words he said or the moves he made.

But it was over and I had to move on.

******-;-**  


_I really have no idea what you want me to write. Should I tell you that you're the most perfect person I have ever met? Should I tell you how much I love you? You know that already._

_Hey, girl, we should go out from the house right now since the hockey match will start soon. (And you don't look that charming when your eyeliner is dripping down your cheek bones.) _

_Cheer up, babe!_

_And I'll sing you one of Ed Sheeran's songs you love so much. :)_

_Love you._

_- N _

I close my eyes and take the crumpled letter out from my diary. Natsume wrote it for me when I was feeling down since Sumire didn't really want to talk with me after the time I called her a liar when she told me the truth about Natsume.

It's funny that even after Natsume had cheated on me, he still told me how much he loved me and he still kissed me and looked at me with eyes that were brighter than stars.

I crumple the paper a bit more and start to cry.

The footprints that Natsume had left were too enormous to erase them.

Even after two years of not seeing him, I still feel him in my bed when I am sleeping together with Kitsuneme.

I often get disgusted with myself but I can't change the feelings I have deep in my heart. After all, you remember your first love for all your life.

I open my eyes and take the diary up from the bed. It's red and worn out. There I keep all my memories of Natsume.

It's sad that he's not in my life anymore but I know it's for the best. You just have to let some people go when they don't want to keep your company anymore.

But they'll always stay with you from the memories and things they have left after they leave you.

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**The End**

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